Tuesday, 17 July 2018

30 Day Writing Challenge 16 & 17/30: Catching Up

Yep, I'm doing two challenges in one day. Because damn, I need to catch up. Still going to be returning to those prompts that I've missed at the end of the month, but for now, I need to get ahead with this challenge before other projects start getting in the way. So, without further ado, here we go with these prompts:

Day 16: Something that you miss

The only things I miss are the things that I either lost because of time or because of my own incompetence. I miss university, and I miss Dundee and all the wonderful people there. I miss my old flat and the freedom of living alone, not that I'm ungrateful for having great parents who are letting me live with them once again, but once you've tasted freedom, it's hard to go back to living under somebody else's roof and obeying their rules. I miss all the friends that I lost because I just stopped speaking to them, or because we never talked things out to resolve a conflict. I miss all the chances I never took because I thought I wasn't good enough, all of those jobs I never applied for because of my fear of rejection. I've said before that I'm one of those people who never takes the risk, and I always end up wondering what could have happened. Ever since I watched Sliding Doors, I've had this belief that one small decision can change your whole life, and I've ended up regretting every potentially life-changing decision that has passed me by.

Consider this piece of writing also a response to Day 11's prompt ('Something you always think 'What if...?' about') because the two go hand-in-hand with me. I seem to hold myself back from making decisions out of fear of making a mistake, but in not taking the opportunities that come my way, I'm making a mistake all the same. It's a lose-lose situation, and I go round in circles, vowing that I will do better next time that I genuinely have nothing to lose. But lo and behold, when that next time comes around, I go right back to being scared and reluctant, no matter how good the offer is.

There are plenty of things that I miss and plenty of things that have passed me by, but I feel like things can only get better from here. I'm nowhere near where I want to be in terms of taking risks and taking on new challenges, but if I can just build up that courage and that self-belief, I'll be able to do all the things that I've always been too scared to do.


Day 17: Post about your zodiac sign, and whether or not it fits you

I was obsessed with zodiac signs when I was younger. I even bought a little pocket book that described the characteristics of each sign, a book which I have propped open next to me right now so that I can talk about the pros and cons of my star sign, Libra. These lists run a little long, so I'll cut them down into their most basic characteristics. Here we go:

Pros:

  • Cooperative and an excellent mediator: I'd say that this is true. I'm not great at arguing my case, but being in the middle of a debate suits me just fine, letting other people have their say and trying to find middle ground.
  • Good companion: I try my best. I like to get along with everybody, although sometimes that is to my detriment.
  • Artistic: Not in the painting and drawing sense, but I have a great respect for art and writing is definitely an art form, so...yeah, I'd say that's about right.
  • Has clear opinions and strong beliefs: This one doesn't really sound like me. I try so hard to see every side of an argument that I end up not really having an opinion of my own or being very easily swayed by others.
  • Loving and romantic: Not that I've had much of an opportunity to be romantic, but I like romance. I don't even mean that I like the 'roses and chocolates' type of romance. I just like feeling close to another person. Stories of romance restore my faith in humanity too. 
  • Sincere: Since I'm awful at telling lies and feel incredibly guilty whenever I do, I'd say that I remain sincere and honest just to keep my karma in check.
  • Charming: Again, I try my best. I don't really think I'm charming. I've met charming people before who just exude this wonderful energy and make you feel blessed just to be around them. I don't have that energy, although I wish that I did.
  • Communicative: When you eventually get to know me, yes. I never shut up once you get me started. But when you first meet me, chances are I'll be shy and quiet to an infuriating degree. I don't even know why, and yet I am.
Cons:
  • Narcissistic: I suppose I care about how I look a little too much sometimes, and maybe some people out there would consider me to be vain with the amount of makeup I own and the amount of selfies I take. I wouldn't say that I'm narcissistic in an unhealthy way, but that's just me.
  • Sulky: I can hear my parents loudly agreeing somewhere in the distance. I can get incredibly sulky, and anyone who can put up with me when I do should get a trophy.
  • Fearful: Too accurate. Pretty much everything scares me. I'm certainly no daredevil and probably never will be.
  • Indecisive: Again, this is me all over. Do you want to be friends with someone who changes her mind ten times about what to have when she's in a restaurant? No? Yeah, no one does, really.
  • Manipulative: As much as I hate to admit it, I have found myself on more than one occasion trying to manipulate another person into believing my side of a story. This was something I did more when I was in my teens and I've stopped myself doing it now because it's an awful thing to do, but to my knowledge, no one has ever been genuinely hurt by my actions. I probably wouldn't be able to live with myself if anyone had been.
  • Overbearing: If I ever come across as overbearing to someone, it probably means that I just really like them. Most of the time, I'm the opposite: never the first to text or start a conversation out of fear of coming across as needy. 
  • Flirtatious: Hahahahahahahahahaha. If it ever seems like I'm flirting with you, I'm probably not. I seem to flirt when I don't mean to. If I ever talk constant nonsense at you and act really weird to the point where you feel sorry for me for even trying, then that means I'm attempting to flirt with you. Been in that situation far too many times.



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